You had me at latte

Why is it when you are desperate to go out, dance, and pull nobody calls? I have texted and phoned the usual suspects but either they are ill or networking. I’m not best pleased.

However, perhaps I should have planned going out earlier in the week. So now I’m thinking about going out by myself. This scares but also thrills me. Sometimes it can be really exciting and you find yourself chatting to interesting people, or at other times it can be bloody depressing as you sip your drink and try and look mildly disinterested whilst all the time you are screaming inside ‘please talk to me, please talk to me’. Edinburgh men don’t seem to actually talk to each other on the scene, sniff and look down their nose yes talk no. In fact a friend told me the other day that he is so used to this strange vow of silence that he is worried when somebody does actually talk to him.

I have found the same thing in other cities I have lived in and visited so perhaps it is a gay thing. Or perhaps I don’t give off the right vibes. My oldest childhood friend, Adam, who lives in London has told me I have to get a look. I took him out to my local club in Edinburgh, where perched on a stool, he glanced around the bar smiling wryly at the men around him. In less than five minutes the guys were swarming. This was a while ago and I still haven’t perfected a look. I might have to telephone Adam for some more lessons.

I’m unemployed again – but have had the week off from job hunting. I’ve mainly been watching films but also managed to do some writing in a coffee shop, gone to an Islamic art exhibition, continued to read ‘The Historian’ and started Alberto Manguel’s ‘A Reading Diary’. The coffee shop trip was fun but I had other reasons to get my coffee there.

A few weeks ago I was working around the corner from this particular coffee shop. Normally I’m not into this particular chain of coffee shops but I had noticed that a cute guy worked there. He had a little beard and shaggy bed head hair. In the middle of the day, after cutting and pasting the four hundred and tenth address into Excel I found I needed a little handsomeness in my day.

Anyway, after a particular hard day of ‘Excelling’, I went to get a coffee. I ordered it from my cute barista, and whilst I was waiting I went to look at the mugs on display. (As a child I used to collect mugs but that’s a different and painful story for another time). Unfortunately, feeling tired, so tired that I felt my face was on backwards, I walked into the display. As I laughed out of my nerves, my nervous giggles were joined by that of my cute barista. I turned around and smiled at him and he said ‘You’re the first person who has smiled in here today’. Oh happy day!

I started to go more regularly, but then he disappeared. Finally two weeks later he was there looking browner. He told me he’d been to Croatia, and had a nice time. I was really nervous talking to him especially as his co-worker was stood next to him. My cute barista also seemed to be anxious as he too got tongue tied and started to tell me about Croatia’s currency system. OK, I was a little bored but I fell in love right there and then. You could say he had me at the latte.

Now I know he might only be doing his job, but I don’t care. So that’s why I was in again last Monday. (I haven’t been in for several weeks). Alas, he wasn’t there, in fact all the staff had changed but I’m just hoping that he might come back.

David Tennant, my Mother and Coke Zero

I am sorry for not updating since May – call it madness, call it laziness, call it being helplessly in love with David Tennant and watching the entire second series of Doctor Who three times on BBC Three, but I haven’t been writing. Shame on me and shame on those bloggers who have removed me from their links except Reluctant Nomad who I dearly love. Actually I can’t blame those who have removed me – but I hope I will be put back soon. I do love you too. Now I’m sending too much like a self centred diva so I’ll move on quickly.

I wish I could say I’ve been in the jungle saving wild flowers, or on a secret spy mission to convert Daniel Craig to homosexuality but I haven’t. I’ve just been working, watching Doctor Who and getting addicted to Coke Zero. (In fact I’ve just had a 500ml bottle and I’m typing like Kerouac and I can sense that this entry may be a little random.) As you can tell I have an increasing obsession with David Tennant. I swooned last night whilst I was watching him on the National TV Awards and today I bought the ‘Doctor Who’ magazine. And later I might re-watch ‘Who do you think you are’ with David looking sexy in various locations around Scotland and Ireland. My friend Richard, who I fancy, looks a lot like David, (and also like Richard Hammond) and so I’m resisting buying a David Tennant doll for matters of hygiene, good taste, and not wanting to be a stalker. (I already have Tobey Maguire as Spider man sitting on my computer – it would not be good).

Last week, my parents had their last visit of the year to Edinburgh. I love them both dearly but my mother has begun to talk to everyone about everything. She can talk about macs, shortcake, medical ailments, shops, moffat and the dissolution of the monasteries to greasy-haired teenagers with ASBO’s, bored shop assistants who don’t care, polish men in full Scottish regalia, and confused foreign tourists. However, she does actually charm people so I should stop my moaning and be grateful for a friendly mum. Unfortunately, she does embarrass me by telling shop assistants that they have lovely teeth or shouting on the bus ‘I don’t know where to get off’ instead of just asking her son who is sitting beside her.

Dating has been non-existent and it’s time I got back in the saddle. I have had some interest but the texting has stopped. I’m hoping he’s just quiet.

I can’t make my life sound exciting. I went to a gay celildh on Saturday, quite a do, but sadly I was bored. The best part of the night was the onion pizza and chips I had in ‘disco chippy’, a chip shop where a DJ plays techno. But I got a chance to hang out with Simon who had come up from Brighton and exchange stories. The other exciting thing was that I threw out all of my PhD notes, and half filled a recyclable bin. I felt quite good ripping my notebooks up with my Dad, but also a little sad. Ah well hopefully the paper will save some trees.

And so that’s it. But to make up for my own quietness I will be doing an entry every night this week. I know that this isn’t such a big deal but for me it is –I’m prepared to forgo my David Tennant moments for the sake of my blog.